Here is where I reveal the rather twisted nature of my mind. Not twisted as in evil, twisted as in other-thinking.
Once in a while I think about things like ergonomic design. I especially think on this when working at the work stations where I work. Ergonomics were not considered when the designs were finalized. Though the county has (purportedly) an ergonomics specialist on staff for consultation in things like, say, the design of work stations for county workers, that individual seems to be perpetually somewhere else during design finalization.
So, I think on ergonomics. Then I wonder as to what the proper design for a service chair might be for someone specializing in fellatio. Lets face it, if you have ever seen such an exercise performed it has to be a strain on quite a few physical structures. A well designed piece of equipment would probably be most welcomed.
This led to imagining an establishment next to, oh, perhaps a podiatrist. What would the sign say for our specialist? Fellatiotamy? Pudiatrist? It would have to be more clinical than the usual titles. Those titles would imply the back seat of a 1982 Crown Victoria. We want to bring the service up-scale and into the 21st century.
Then I got to thinking about the nature of the work and the clientele. When you are young and sharing your life with an enthusiastic partner a professional fellatelist might not be high on the priority list. However, give yourself a number of years, loss of flexibility and a partner who might not be quite up to the required gymnastics. The need for a professional might at least suggest itself.
As you grow older some things are more difficult. Like pruning toenails.
That was where I experienced the flash.
A pedicurist is working in the proper neighborhood. With a little additional training and the right motivation one service could be added to the other. I would have to figure that the motivation might well be money. A pedicure can be had for less than twenty bucks. The addition of another relaxing service should bring in quite a few more dollars and a very steady clientele.
Oh, there are a few questions of legality. However, Bill Clinton presented an argument that fellatio is NOT having sex. That being the case, providing the service professionally (in a clean and comfortable environment) ought not to be a crime. The International Association of Fellatelists and Pedicurists should begin lobbying right away.
So if you one day find yourself living in a world of happy older men with well cared for feet, you will know it began here.
Now I need some paper and a pencil. I have a chair to design.
Cruise to nowhere, and a salty cocktail hour
4 hours ago