Finding Your Dream-

A number of years ago I suffered a bout of depression. A chronic depressive state I actually didn't recognize until other symptoms showed up. I sought counsel and also began my own research into managing depression. It was a valuable experience, and one I often tap for ongoing personal maintenance. One of the tools for managing the depression was to "start a project and see it through to completion."

That one resulted in a novel, a sequel, and a third volume, making it a series. The fourth volume is still in the works. These projects do, indeed, help to avoid the downward spiral of depression. In addition, it is fun! It would be more fun if the books were selling better, but that was not the goal of that exercise. The fact that I have at least a small readership is pretty cool. Very cool.

In another aspect of my recovery I had to examine some serious questions. Most of all, what motivated me? What did I want? What was my dream?

My greatest dream, I came to realize, was caring for my family. Unfortunately, I tended to do that with such a degree of devotion I failed to attend to my own needs. I had to learn that I was not Superman, I could not do it all, all of the time. I failed to take time to feed myself beyond just the intake of fuel for my body. I have gotten better at this, but it is surprisingly hard.

As I sit and write, I recognize that I have accomplished most of my goals. My dreams. Unfortunately, some dreams are poorly formed. Dreams can sometimes conflict, as well. Even well defined dreams can change over time, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Dreams should mature and adapt to an ever changing world.

My own dreams evolved out of childish fancies and a propensity to simply let life happen and observe what takes place. It took me a long time and a number of accumulated responsibilities to help me find more cohesive dreams. On the whole it has turned out well. Not perfect, but then I don't know that I would recognize perfection or even find it appealing.

Have you found your dream? If so, is it what you expected it to be?