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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Dream Incompatability-

Dreams are one of the major victims of depression. Previously held dreams fade and die. The capacity to dream grows weak and eventually seems to no longer exist. The difficult path back from a depressive episode can be made easier if the capacity to dream is revived and encouraged.

During my own healing I sought to give wings to my dreams, finding old ones under dust and debris and also trying to create new ones. Some were fantastic and impractical, but I embraced them and made them mine in spite of that. I needed to dream.

I embraced dreams of travel, of seeing what lies over the horizon. I used maps and atlas' and Internet tools. I brought back a hunger that had died within me, and I wanted to travel.

Unfortunately, my realized dreams of having a home and family have put fetters on my traveling feet. The funds and freedom are just not there.

I have dream incompatibility.

One option is to let this frustration spiral me into a new depression. After the struggle to climb out of that pit it seems a poor option.

Another is to recognize the realized dream of home and family. Just as I reached down and found those old, dusty dreams of the vagabond life, I must embrace the life that I have. Home. Family.

Easy to take for granted. Easy to focus on the frustrations and limitations those realized dreams can bring. Easy to forget that they are dreams, and dreams realized.

There are big changes coming soon in my life. Big changes for my family. Changes that can be enhanced if I remember the dreams of home and family. Some of those changes I am not quite ready to make public. Necessary changes. They shall certainly be interesting.

I have no intention of abandoning my dreams of travel, of being a sometimes vagabond. I have learned skills and acquired tools over the past year that will allow for at least a taste of that life, now and then.

It is time, however, to focus on those dreams of home and family. I need to actively cultivate those dreams, and make more of them a reality.

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