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Friday, August 29, 2008

Drifting through life-

I was just making an entry in my other blog, Philosophy on Purpose. I noted that I was an intellectual drifter in the world of philosophy.

I really believe I am a bit of a drifter in all of my life. I have always longed to see what is over the horizon. That sounds romantic, but in reality the horizon is just an illusion. It is just the limits of what I can see from THIS PLACE NOW.

My present THIS PLACE NOW has been a place of being for me for many years. Have I gotten to know this place in depth? Have I embraced this place in all of its forms? Have I put down roots?

No. I have pretty much just existed here. I have been waiting. I have been waiting on the time I can go and see what is over the horizon.

I have been a drifter sitting in one place.

Always staring at the horizon, wondering what is on the other side. Never really getting into where I am right now.

A flaw in my character? A faulty human? I don't know. What makes a drifter? Is there something more I want than is here? Or do I just want it all?

Do I fear commitment? Do I fear being committed to, or do I fear all I will lose if I commit?

I really don't know. I do know that physical highways draw me. I want to move down many roads, and see many things. I don't want to go SOMEWHERE. I just want to GO.

Along with the physical travel, I want to do this intellectually. What is on the other side of this idea? If these people hold to this belief, what do the other people believe?

Always I have had to compromise the drifters life for something of a "real life." A life of jobs and family and home and place. Because I want those things, too.

Life is too short. It is too small. There is so much I want to fit into it, and it just is not big enough.

It will be interesting to see what I do with the rest of my life. It is shorter and smaller than when I began, yet it is surprisingly full. Perhaps what I have left will hold a great deal more.

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